Art of the Pause
Greg’s last post shared our engaging interview on the new podcast Connected with Jen and Shannon. If you haven’t already, you can check out our interview on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. We talked about perspective, interconnection, mean-making, and communication—all through the lens and cultural methodology of jazz.
As we reached the end of the interview, Shannon and Jen told us that they always ask themselves and their interviewees to share a word or phrase from the interview that resonated most. The query took me back to our discussion about conflict resolution, and Shannon talking about her time working in emergency rooms and witnessing the way empathetic listening de-escalated heightened situations. When she connected empathy to our previous mentions of pausing during deep listening or moments of challenge, Shannon coined it as “the art of the pause.” That was the phrase that resonated with me.
After our interview, I remembered a post I wrote a year ago about the power of silence and decided to share it with Shannon. I’d like to share the same with you below.
The Impact of Inner Silence
In our Jazz Leadership practice of “Big Ears,” we move through the first two levels of listening—active and empathic—then settle into the highest level: soulful, generative listening. We define this level of listening as a dynamic act of co-creation--thinking and feeling together, which opens the way to collective meaning and shared understanding. Jazz musicians strive to be consistently at this level as they tune into where their bandmates are taking a song’s rendition.
At the end of our workshops, we ask participants to share a takeaway and one action step. It’s always revelatory to hear what resonated with people the most. One of takeaways mentioned in those instances is the following line from the soulful listening portion of the workshop:
“Soulful listening is the art of developing more profound silences within yourself.”
Participants expressed a deep resonance with this concept, saying that it can help them become more aware of how they listen, and by developing high intention and attention, be more successful at work and home. So true. Soulful listening is about building relational harmony and connecting with what’s possible.
Silence, or a rest as it is sometimes called in music, can create contrast, heighten tension, change dynamics and rhythm to shape the listener’s experience. Intentionally placed silence can add to the listener’s emotional connection to the ebb and flow of the musical journey.
In our communication:
Silence provides space, an opening for reflection to ponder and mull.
Silence can create a bridge to connect intention and meaning.
Silence can emphasize the gravity of what was said.
Silence can exude patience—both in formulating a thoughtful response and allowing the other to fully express.
Silence can be part of a feedback loop to gauge just where the conversation is going and what pivots may be required.
Noticing the pauses in conversations can help restructure the rhythm and flow of the communication.
LL Cool J on CBS Sunday Morning
Painting on Silence
In a CBS This Morning interview, hip hop artist and actor LL Cool J said that the experience of making and sharing his music was magical. His job, he said, is to go into a room and “paint on silence,” present it to the world, and have people enjoy it. The image of “painting on silence” conjured up colors, movement, texture and depth, in a panoply of never-ending possibilities.
The use of silence can bring shades of subtlety, capturing nuance as we figure out what those silent moments are communicating. A powerful element of silence is that it allows us to bring our other nonverbal communication skills into play. Our gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, and postures can become part of a full-bodied communication exchange.
I find pauses and silence throughout conversation a source for deepening awareness and intuition. They allow me to settle into the spoken words and determine what meaning and value they have for me. We don't always have to always fill a void of silence. There may be some discomfort or awkwardness when nothing is being said, but if we think of silence like LL Cool J—we can make it a part of our communication canvas.
Making silence even more profound is the art of caring and the skill of perfecting genuine presence—both of which can serve us greatly on our leadership journey.
